Faith, Prayer, Relationships

How to pray for your boyfriend (and why you should)

As a regular consumer of Christian blogs, magazines, articles, books, and anything else you can name, I’ve come across tons of content designed to help women pray for their husbands. I think sometimes Christians, in their enthusiasm for lifelong commitments and maintaining purity, underemphasize how important a close dating relationship can be, and forget that the time to start developing relationship skills that will be necessary throughout life is before you need them every day. I’ve also found that cultivating a prayer life with my boyfriend has been a key part not only of helping us keep our life God-honoring, but has also helping us become happier and more content together and individually. Besides that, your boyfriend is presumably a fellow Christian, and Paul urges us in Ephesians 6:8 (and many other places!) to “make supplications for all the saints.” Praying for those around us is a given, but there are some special things to focus on when the saint in question is a romantic interest.

Pray for his struggles

What is your boyfriend going through right now? Depending on how long you’ve been dating and what stage you are at in your relationship (you could be celebrating your first month as a couple or practically engaged and still using the general term “boyfriend”), you might not know a lot or any of the most personal details, or you might know pretty much everything on his heart. Either way, jot down or mentally make note of what he’s going through. Is his boss/manager pressuring him to work too many hours or do something he isn’t comfortable with? Has he had difficulty in school lately? Does he have a medical problem or an injury? Is he feeling distant from God? Is he having conflict with a friend or family member? Ask God to be with him through these struggles, show him His love, and to help you to be an encouragement and a support in any way that you can. 

Pray for your couple struggles

Yes, the goal for this post is to give you a framework for praying for your boyfriend, but chances are, a big part of his life that deserves a lot of pray is YOU and your relationship with him. Maybe the two of you are having a difficult time keeping calm during tense discussions, maybe you’re having a hard time making time for one another, maybe you have a parent or sibling who is making it difficult for the two of you, maybe you’re struggling with purity. Whatever the issues are, bringing them before God and seeking His advice, support, and guidance can only help! Ask that you both have wisdom and grace in dealing with your struggles and with one another. The two issues that Vincent and I have struggled with the most have been unhealthy anger towards one another during arguments and staying sexually pure. Without a doubt, these problems peak whenever we become slack in our prayer life as individuals and as a couple. 

 

Pray together as well as separately

Just as important as praying for your boyfriend is praying with your boyfriend. Whether you’re just passed the “so, what kind of music do you like?” stage or you’re picking out baby names, chances are, you have talked about your faith a good bit already. But have you started to integrate your faiths together? Maybe it’s pretty seamless if you met at church or attend the same small group or campus faith organizations, but even if you are already participating in group worship, prayer, and study, bring some into your time together! Take it a step beyond saying a quick grace before you eat. One of Vincent and my favorite dates is what we call “Bagels and Bibles”. We go every week or two to Bruegger’s for asiago parmesan bagels, iced coffee, and a period of prayer and Bible study. Recently, we’ve been  doing a pre-engagement study there as well. It’s brought us closer together as couples, we’ve learned about our faith and one another, and it’s a great date for practically any couple because the relaxed atmosphere of a bagel shop really makes it easy to talk freely, to God and one another. We try to go at a time where it’s not too busy so we can count on grabbing a comfy couch and there not being too much background noise. 

 

Ask him to pray for you

Hopefully, he already does. But if not, ask him to! Tell him some things that you are going through, hoping to do, or concerned about, and ask him to pray on them daily. You could even write out a little list of things as part of a cute note asking him what you can pray for him for. Vincent and I are at the point where we know most of the stuff that goes on in one another’s lives, but we totally text each other every now and then about a struggle or an event that we could use prayers for. It will help you to become more in-tune with each other’s issues and spiritual health if you bring it before God every day, and it’s a way better situation for that to be mutual

 

Concluding thoughts

Maybe you’ll follow these guidelines, maybe you’ll make up your own, but either way, I hope this inspires you to start praying for your boyfriend if you aren’t already, and if you are, maybe you saw a new way to think about it today! What are you doing already to help your significant other spiritually? Do you pray together? When and where? I’d love to hear what y’all are doing to help your boyfriend and your relationship through prayer.

 

–Neva

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